"DEPRESSION"

 


A tree without roots
A life without living
A breath without air
A face without expression
A heart without beat

Empty soul...

Depression is paralysis
Slavery

The chains are unseen
It drains your strength
To the last drop

Depression turns you into another being
You do not recognize yourself in the mirror
But a ghost
A nobody
A failure
A dead weight

Restless sadness
Shadow
Melancholy

(Simone-2008)

"ADVICES"



Powerful dreams
Set fire my mind
Crazy journey
Fantastic possibilities
In this world full of (a)diversities
 
We can be everyone
Do everything
Change destinies
 
Life can be the best
It is just a test

Let's be free
Let's love living
Let's love giving
 
(Simone)

"HEART OF ME"

 
You were born to be loved
Came with a divine touch
A magical spell
Matchless magnetism

Look how beautiful you are!
Your beauty transcends
The outer is fruit of the inner

When I look at your face I smile
I can see love, serenity
Truth, kindness, braveness

Your heart is like a mansion with countless rooms
Each one of them has exceptional treasures
To welcome the guests you have chosen to be part of it
Portrait of heaven
What a cozy place
A place everybody would dream of living in

When I see your face
Sunrise comes to my vision
A spread of a very shinning light
Mesmerizing colors
You give a sense of life
Sense of warmth

You are a blessing
Gift of God to this world
You came to teach about love and understanding
Truth and beauty
Happiness and the most important values
You can make our lives an unique experience
You personify what is truly meaningful
What lasts
What must be cultivated

Because of who you are
Our sense of faith and hope in people and life
Remains alive

The love and joy you spread are like seeds
Whatever you go
You make grow these nourishments
To hearts and souls

You see the beauty of your mission here?
Think about it
If you do
You will love yourself even more ...

(Simone)

"CALVARY"

 

 
The ultimate demand and pain
The last shelter
The last drop of life...

Blood
Tears
Open wounds
Suffocating atmosphere

Jesus cries...
While the crowd seems to savor His suffering

The cross is so heavy and oppressive!
Lacerating the flesh of His nude shoulders
He is so lonely
Exhausted and desolated...

Jesus screams crucified...
Why such an horrendous sentence?
He was a pacifist!
He was a reconciliator!
He was unconditional love personified!

Human beings around him
Were like vultures
Waiting His last breath of life
By showing sadistic expressions
Elated evils!

Jesus moans in the cross...
The wind strokes stronger and stronger
Restless
Bringing turbulent clouds
The sky is purple
Bloody rain covers the surface of earth

The sinful crowd runs terrorized
The good hearts cry with Him
Twisting in agonizing pain

Jesus is dead!
Thunderstorm breaks violently
Lightning electrifies the sky 
Guttural sounds reverberates in every corner
It is almost impossible to gasp air
Hell in life

All of a sudden
The fury of nature subsides
It is all silence...
The sky is clear as ever
Turquoise in color
The heavy clouds are gone
White birds fly in all directions
The earth breaths serenity ...

On top of the mountain
The cross is empty
Nails still deeply buried in its core
Jesus is gone!
Nowhere to be seen in flesh
Deserved freedom He got
Eternal peace He reached
Finally!

In His brief passage here
He tried to save us
But
His death was not enough
His love was not enough
He was such an innocent and pure soul...

No matter how much He did for us
He gave of His precious life for us
We are still taking wrong paths
Making bad choices
Destroying more than building
Hating more than loving

We still have so much to learn
To mature ... to grow...
Life is a school
God is the master

Jesus tried to help us
To get "good grades"
But most of us
Ignored His clues
Failed!

Jesus died in vain, after all...
His ordeal along the journey to crucifixion
Only reached a few sensitive hearts
Toward salvation and redemption

Santified was His legacy
His mark He left here
Undeniable memory

In spite of being so injured by cruelty and injustice
Love was what He gave us
Love He asked us to multiply
Spread as seeds in the soil of each one's heart 
And each living soul...

When I look at His image crucified
His crow of thorns molded to his head
Skin covered with blood and scars
Expression of atrocious pain
My heart cries endlessly
I feel for Him
Somewhere in me
I want to cure His wounds
Make the memory of His procession of agony vanishes

Since I was very, very young
This image of Jesus hanging on the cross has moved me
Has touched me in the deepest part of my being
Still today, is the same!
I think it will never leave me
It is so powerful influence, presence
It is love and pain
Inspiration and desolation
Mystery and misery
Smile and watery eyes in the same expression
Turmoil of mixed emotions ...

(Simone)

"ENCAPSULATED LIFE"

 
My name is Martha von Bulow. "Sunny" was put between Martha and von Bullow. I will tell you my story from the grave where I am now. I am 76 years old.

I was born in a train between Virginia and New York in 1932. My mother's name was Annie-Laurie and my father's George. I was a very wealthy person. In 1957 I got married and became a princess (like Grace Kelly did). My husband was Prince Alfred von Aversperg of Austria. Alexander and Annie Laurie came as blessings in our lives together. We got divorced in 1965. In 1966 I got married again. His name was Claus von Bullow. We had a girl together named Cosima.
In the fall of 1980 my life changed to tragedy. I fell sick - persistent vegetative state. My husband was accused of trying to kill me with an overdose of insulin. In a first trial he was found guilty and after appealing, got a second trial and was found not guilty. He gave up my fortune as a bargain to get his freedom. He got his wish. He became a free man and I a prisoner locked in myself.  I was removed to a hospital and later to a nursing home where I lived for long 28 years until today: December 6th, 2008.
As soon as I became a "vegetable", I received lots of visitors. Some came to see only my surface: the sleeping beauty princess with a dead brain. Others came to see me inside: my children and others who really loved me. Their love was my solace for almost three decades.
The bed became my home and my body my cage. A legion of doctors used to come to see me almost every day at the beginning. They wanted to solve my "puzzle". I had the most famous neurologists by my side looking at me as I was a personification of the theory of relativity waiting to be made possible in their practice. They were supposed to know everything about brains but mine was a complete blank canvas to them. My case challenged their expertise to the bottom. As they knew they could not "resuscitate" my high functions, little by little the doctors started disappearing one after one. They gave me up. When some doctors feel in their guts they will not be able to "fix" the patient, they abandon not only the case but also the person stuck on a bed. Every case unsolved is a failure under their pride perspective. So, the doctors gave their back to me. Case closed! But fortunately, the nurses saw me as a whole being still, not a brain dead on a bed.
Every day, for 28 years of my life, the nurses came. I knew each one of them. They were a legion. Some were old,  others brand-new, some tall, some short, some thin, some fat, some black, some white, some talkative, some as silent as I was. These ones looked at me and talked to me with their eyes. I knew all of them, in their own style, loved me unconditionally. It was everything I needed. I did not like to stay alone with myself. I was always in need of warmth, smiles, touch, being seen, celebrated as a human being, not as a "lettuce".
My children, my friends, and my nurses filled my days with joy. They used to keep me updated regarding everything: weather, news, holidays, birthdays, their accomplishments, even their secrets. They really could trust me their most intimate secrets, after all, they knew with 100% of accuracy, with me their secrets would be kept in secret forever.  The nurses also used to tell me the most fabulous jokes and I felt my body shaking inside. I was laughing out loud, but nobody could hear my burst of laughter! Anyway, they related to me as they could listen to me. To them, at least, I was alert, alive, and busy like them taking care of my life inside my cage. They did treat me like a princess I was. I had a royal care! But, unfortunately, I was not a fairy tale's princess. I could not hope a prince would come to kiss me and give my life back. Yes,  my first husband was a prince, but his kiss was far away from being a miracle maker. No! I was very realistic about that, so I did not nurture any wishful thinking in that matter.
During the nights, when I was alone, I used to remember my life before the coma, a very active one. I was also a philanthropist. I wanted to use my tittle, name, money, and influence to help others. In spite of being so wealthy, I was sensitive enough to see that only few people in this world had the same privilege I did of being rich. I could not turn my back to those people. As soon as I became ill, my two first children kept helping others on my behalf. They knew that was something I would ask them to do if I could. They knew me very well.
My life inside myself was very lonely. It was like to live inside an empty house. My heart stayed pumping blood, my lungs exchanging gases, but my ability to think properly and communicate with the world outside was completely lost. I could not think about everything I wanted. My cortex was shut down. My body was so heavy on the bed. The nurses used to turn me in different positions every two hours to prevent those terribly painful and ugly bed sore ulcers to start making infected holes in my flesh. I felt like a pig spinning in a stick, but I knew it was better to me.
The nurses were very kind and respectful. They tried to keep my privacy and dignity as brave and loyal warriors. It was very important to me not have my body exposed to the crowd, the dead body in an anatomy lab waiting defeatless to be cut in pieces by curious and shocked students nauseated by the smell of chloroform coming from the body. As I told you,  I did receive a royal treatment by the nurses. They kept my hairdo, nails, mouth, skin, mind, and heart imaculated. I was so grateful to them but my words echoed back to me every time I tried to express it to them. Nobody could hear me but by own self. What a prison! What a torture to have my life encapsulated like I was inside a cocoon that would never let the butterfly go free.
When I was born, my mother called me "Sunny" but unfortunately I lost my sunny side to become immersed in  complete darkness. My "cage" became sun-proof. My mind was dominated by frustration and my heart sadness. My empty house was cold, dark, and dusty. The unconditional love from people since I got sick was the only thing that kept me "alive" for so long, nothing else. Each person who loved me was a candle in my life. I saw my mother aging, my children growing, and even could meet my grandchildren. They were so cute and full of life. My opposites! They used to jump on my lap as children usually do and I loved that. They hugged me before leaving. As my motionless arms did not help me to get my wish, I hugged the children with my eyes, soul, and inner arms. As a daughter, mother, grandmother I was complete, at least!
Now, at 76 and declared officially dead, I feel relieved. I have lived a lot! What I have learned from all of these years? That love is the only thing that does not perish. In mine most difficult days, I was nourished by love and that kept my sense of life and purpose. I thank God for my children, my few friends, my grandchildren, and of course, my nurses who kept me and my sanity "alive" somewhere and shared their lives with me as I was really as alive as them. Because their unconditional love and loyalty, they made this princess happy even after. Now I can go in peace. It is time for me to parade my last sunset. Princess Sunny is blowing her candle of life. Goodbye! Amen! Martha von Bullow.

(Simone)

"SUPERFICIALITY"

 

 
Some people believe
The passport to the success means
To be rich
To be physically perfect in beauty
To have a network of influential people
This is basically the recipe
To make them feel great about themselves
Powerful, desired, accepted, seen ...

Some that  fit in that "category" of thinking and behaving
Usually don't invest in anything really purposeful
After all, today's society
Values basically those things

Celebrities they feel wherever they go
All the doors are permanently open to them
The best opportunities
The best possibilities
To the point that sky does not seem to be the limit!

However
Behind this fairy-tale life
Might live untold stories, behind the scenes facts
Hidden at all costs to the outsiders
Chapters made of jealousy
Disloyalty
Scandals
Domestic violence
Unhappiness
Frustration 
Crimes
Hate
Egomaniac souls
Pain
Addictions
Blind greed
Delinquency
Lack of substance
Abuse of substance
Deep conflicts of self-image
Ruined self-esteem
Shames
Fear of loneliness
Abandon
Very deep emotional needs
Traumas
All sorts of abuse

Relations based on superficiality are crystal-made in fragility
They sustain themselves just while  the "million bucks" facade keeps shinning, convincing
They are not mean to last
It is all about competition
When people compete for something at all costs
Roots of envyness and all kinds of negativity deep grow
One looks the other down to then feel superior
This is the "societal law"!

This is the human's shadowy side
Can be unlimited in preconceived ideas
Labels, frames
Cruel and mean
Spreading fear and making to emerge tears
It is hard to break this vicious cycle
Eradicate these weeds
Extinguish this poison

Challenging change
Two faced living
Shallow, senseless
Empty ...

(Simone)

"NIGHT"


 
The moon shines up high in the sky
Some stars hide behind scarce clouds so shy

The blue of the day turns into deep black during the night
Birds like lost souls sad murmurs ignite

Owls have all eyes to each and every event
Lack of preys deeply lament

Night is mystery
At times being's misery

It is romantic some use to say
To others only ghosts in the sceneries portray

The winter nights are long and tiring
Though the imaculate snow blanketing the floor is so inspiring

Nights are stage of revelations
Unconscious mind's motivations

Dreaming eyes are mine
Hypnotized by the night spell
What lives in my mind is hard to tell
My thoughts are shattered by this magic atmosphere
But one thing I can say for sure
My heart beats in front of all this beauty
Ring as a bell ...

(Simone)

EMAN AL-OBEIDY

 
Defying power demands braveness
This Libyan woman symbolizes it

Against all odds
She found a voice to denounce her abusers
The ones which terrorized her by taking her 
To the deepest level of fear and pain

Her fight back is a tremendous strength of
Braveness against brutality
Wisdom against ignorance
 Cry out against oppression
Dignity against defamation

Her oppressors thought that by violating her body, her honor as a woman
They would take away everything else
But no matter the degree of violence they inflicted on her
Could not destroy her sense of injustice
 Her values, her believes
 Silence her voice at all!

Eman al-Obeidy is a hero
Powerful woman
Who is empowering so many others by showing to the ones
Which  also have been victimized by all kinds of abuse
That there is a way to survive
There is a window to breath out there
There is a way to be born again in a fair world
 Where they can find still
Respect and love toward them

I hope Eman al-Obeidy
Be never forgotten
That no power shadows
Her right to fight against exploitation

For me she is an inspiration as a woman and human being
Her courage is unbelievable
Her dignity unshakable

It is incredible that her abusers are still in the streets
Enjoying impunity
They tried to frame her as a prostitute and mentally ill woman
In order to undermine her accusations against them
But she is still strong, still alive
She is a winner! 

No matter how much these ignorant men
Try to suffocate her expression
Inside her lives a freedom believer
A justice believer

All muslim and non-muslim women
Should stand to applaud her
As what she has done
Very few would dare to do
In a world market by corruption and savageness

Allah bless her path
Amen!

(Simone)

"UNEXPECTED LOVE"


 
As audience I learned about you
I asked myself who is that sweet soul
Made of laughs and tenderness ...
Every time I accidently read you
A smile came to me right away
A smiled that converted into admiration...
 
The admiration made me want to be friends with you
I wanted you as part of my life
I was fascinated by your luminous being
 
The circumstances were so adverse
It was a very unlikely bond
Both with so busy hearts
Same person, same reason, same sentiment
So strange ...
 
Strangely as well
Deception and sympathy brought us together
So alike feelings made our meeting a kind of alliance of mutual support
 
It did not take long for us to become "at home" with one another
We discovered that sense of humor made us strong
The conversations run so smoothly as we had been acquaintances for ages
 
Day after day I learned a little piece more of you and your story
I could see you were in a journey of pain at that time
Your crying were so heartbreaking to me
Your suffering brought me closer to you
I wanted to be close
My goal in my relation with you became to be your best friend
I wanted to be there to dry your tears
To let you know that you did not need to hold anything
You could let the emotions flow without the fear of being judged
You could be you in full by revealing your thoughts and emotions out loud without hesitation ...
 
I could not leave you in such a hard moment
It was my choice to stay
Every new day I expected to be there for you
I used to wake up eager to listen to you, be by your side, even if silently
I wanted to protect you, make you feel wanted, share warmth
I wanted to be truth, companionship, a safe harbor, your lighthouse
I did care so much ...
 
In that challenging journey by your side
I became more and more fond of you
In the expression of your emotions, I had the privilege of making contact with your inner beauty
Your beauty amazed me ... so deep, so unique, mesmerizing ...
Amazed I was also by your integrity, sense of values, loyalty for the beloved one
Love given so fully and unconditionally
I witnessed you loving a person with your whole being ... absolute devotion
Your loyalty in spite of your pain was remarkable ...
 
The person I found in you bounded with me
First admiration, then friendship, then latter .... love
How couldn't I love you?
You were pure love ..... had all into you to be lovable too!
 
The love for you came so naturally
So pure, so involving, so genuine ...
Unexpected love ... totally unplanned
Was built in the flow of so many emotions ...
On so solid foundation
It was not born to be sustained by a sand castle
But on an unshakable truth ...
 
You always ask me
How can I love you so much and unconditionally
After having all the revelations?
Remember that it was by knowing all that I fell in love with you
It was when you told me all that I could see your real you
Watch inside your deepest being
See you as an image in a x-ray
 
I am not afraid of the truth
You embraced me in full
Accepted unconditionally the truth of my life and inner self
As you see the acceptance is mutual!
 
Today I have no words to translate this love
When things become out of proportion ... the translation is lost ...
It can only be revealed under the light of intuition
Look at my eyes and you will know
Look into my heart and you will experience what I feel for you
Every time I think of you, every time I look at you, every time you come, and touch my emotional self
 
You I admire
You I respect
You I want well
You I wish I had in my life throughout my existence
 
I was blessed when you came
I was blessed when was given me the remarkable possibility of having your love as mine
 
This love is my blessing and joy
This love is my pride and my light
This love is my heaven
You my angel
Amen!
 
(Simone)

"SEARCHING FOR THE TRUTH ON THE MEANING OF HAPPINESS..."

 

 
I always think about it
Have this interrogation point in my mind ...
What is the truth about happiness?
Where does it live?
Does it have the same meaning for everybody?

After so much thinking
I have learned that to find happiness
And, most of all, to give a meaning to it
Depends on one's own perspective
Depends on one's expectations
And the impact certain experiences have had in one's life

To a person who is dying
Happiness can be to have someone beside to hold hand until the very end

To a person who suffers any kind of addiction
Happiness can be to be stronger than the "seductive" effect of the drug
Each new day that starts and ends

To a person who are in the battlefield
Happiness can be to get out alive of the conflict
Or
To get the victory even by having to pay the price of sacrificing own life at the last moment
And be remembered as a hero like a general for his army
Or a captain for his crew in a war ship

To a poor person
Happiness can be a plate of food and a cup of water

To a rich person
Happiness can be to have unlimited possessions
Or
More power and influence over others

To a model
Happiness can be to stay young and good looking as long as possible

To a disable person
Happiness can be just to get one's respect
And be brave on prejudice

To a person who is incarcerated
Happiness can be to not be forgotten

To a free person
Happiness can be to give others the same chance to be free

To a child
Happiness can be a parent's hug or a day off at school

To an orphan
Happiness can be to be wanted in a core of a family

To a scientist
Happiness can be to make a revolutionary discovery
That will make difference in many lives

To a blind person
Happiness can be to overcome darkness

To a person who has perfect vision
Happiness can be never witness certain events
Like violence or losses

To a domestic violence victim
Happiness can be to survive the abuser
And give hope to others who are still struggling to get rid of their invisible chains

To a lonely person
Happiness can be to get one's heart warmth

To a depressed person
Happiness can be a sunny day outside
To dissipate the cloudy one inside

To a lawyer
Happiness can be to be able to make justice

To a defendant
Happiness can be to get a not guilty sentence

To a humanitarian
Happiness can be to promote peace

In a nutshell
The meaning of happiness
Is multidimensional
Different for each person

But there is one consensus between all
Happiness is essential to get sense of life
It is nourishment to mind, heart, soul, body

 A life without happiness is like a white canvas
No meaning
No colors
No beauty
No sense of self or existence

For some happiness feels as so complicated and sophisticated thing to find
Seems unreachable in the moments one needs the most
How easily faith in happiness is lost...

To be happy also depends on how much we take for granted things we have in life
If we learn to give significance  to little things
Take nothing for granted
Happiness can be everywhere to be found

Happiness can be behind a word, a gesture
In he air we have to breath every second of our lives

I think happiness was created by God to be fairly simple
As if simple it is
All will have the opportunity to enjoy it
No matter color, race, social status, background, culture
After all, we are all God's children
And all recipients of His creations

(Simone)