DOMESTIC VIOLENCE...

 
Domestic violence
This is something I really care about... since always!

Another day I was watching a video about it
The abuser was asking his 13 years old son
To get a camera and record his father beating his mother
The battered woman was the typical devoted woman
Good mother
Good wife
Good professional
Good citizen
A really kind human being...

She suffered years and years of abuse
Under the dominance of the person she got married to in name of love
She said that she was so influenced by his judgement about her
That she really believed she worthed less than a piece of nothing in a trash can
But one day something changed in her way of thinking
That was inside of her that feeling of injustice that is innate in us
So, that was the turning point in the story of her life
She documented her bruises, recorded his insulting calls
Then set a day to leave with the kids
As she had the tapes her son had recorded
Of her being abused
The smoking gun was there to arrest and prosecute her husband
He was sentenced to spend 36 years in prison

She was one of the few women
Who survived extreme abuse
To tell her story
Most in the severe cases will never have the same luck
Susan's story is so inspiring
She is beautiful, very intelligent, and all dignity
Someone who definitely empowers all of us as women...

So, after watching the video
I decided to leave a comment
I wanted to celebrate her bravery
By making compliments to her outstanding self
After I made my comment
Another follower of the video
Left a message to me
Criticizing my solidarity to her

It was a man
Writing in a very despicable language
He told that women should be beaten
That the husband was right and was an injustice to sentence him to jail
He call me the B word
and so on...

The names he called me
I just ignored
Words do not hit us
If we do not listen to them
We have the choice of accepting them or not
As part of who we are
I did not accept, so just despised, ignored

What did strike me the most in his comments
Were the feelings behind the words
I felt so, so much aggressiveness from him
Unbelievable!
Instead of using low words to argue with him
I was as polite as possible
I did not argue
I used as an opposite force politeness, serenity, and good sense
After all, I was trying to use an "investigative strategy"
I wanted to know why he had so much hate toward women
Even toward women he did not even met
Like me and the woman from the video
He sent me a video of a young white girl
Being slapped by an African American guy
He said that white girls deserved that
Also that African American women like to be beaten

At certain point I asked him
How he would feel if he saw a man
Beating his mother or his sister
Calling them very depreciative names
He did ignore my question
But as I did not behave the way he did
His aggressiveness started fading
But he was still very upset

From the way he was looking for comfrontation
From the very offensive language he used
From the controlling attitude he had
From the prejudice he expressed
I concluded that he was the exactly portrait of the man in the video
Another one to disseminate domestic violence
As a form of dominance and power
As a way to disguise his own insecurities and weaknesses

The story ended without me
Finding the answers I was looking for
Due to the language he used
The administration of the website
Blocked him and deleted all his comments

I wanted to know what kind of childhood he had
How his mother raised him
What kind of model she was to him
How other women influenced him along his life...
I dont think his behavior and judgements were just
Pure and simple hate
I believe something happened in his life
That made grow that so strongly negative feeling inside him

I wanted to contemplate these question marks inside my head
As it implies so many meanings
That is why it is so, so fundamental to us women who became mothers
To pay attention to the way we raise our boys
What kind of female image we are giving to them

The experiences from childhood
Definitely leave a deep fingerprint in our entire lives
If something disastruous happens in relationships we stablish in the childhood
Latter in life it will come to the surface
All kinds of things can come
Some very distorted
To the point of a monster be created
Inside one's head

This is such a tragic thing...
It is sad and frightening
So serious matter
Something we should never ignore or underestimate

Domestic violence
Is such a toxic thing to everybody involved
Nothing good can come from it
Unless we hear a voice inside us claiming:
STOP!!
SAY NO!!!
ASK FOR HELP!!
REPORT!!
DON'T ACCEPT AS PART OF LIFE!!!
Bcz it is not something inherent to life
Should never be!!!

-Simone-